I have two sons. My oldest is almost 5. My youngest is almost a year and a half. I live in Colorado. I have my whole life. I am in amazing relationship with the man of my dreams. I call him "T" on my blog. I am a stay at home mom. I love it (most days.) My eating disorder started when I was 11. I was in 6th grade. All the boys made fun of me and wouldn't go to dances with me. The girls would say rude remarks behind my back. I saw a show on TV about girls throwing up to lose weight. That's how I started. I started purging every once in awhile. Then it turned to anorexia after a couple years. I was completely restricting (except while I was pregnant) for years. In early 2011 my purging started again. Right after I had my youngest son. It was only once a week, then became once a day. After losing my brother in August of 2011 in a motorcycle accident and that same month realizing that my marriage was going down hill and that I was in a loveless relationship, I turned to my eating disorder for support. I was purging after every meal. Then at the end of September, I fell in love with T. My eating disorder was just a part of my life then. It didn't consume me. I was able to purge without T knowing or sometimes I was able to skip it completely. I started the year 2012 with my goal weight to be 125. I started the year at 128. I didn't think it would be so easy to get there. I was giving myself an entire year to lose 3lbs. About the beginning of January is when my eating disorder became my life. It was no longer just a part or in the shadows. Everyone close to me found out about it. T is my biggest supporter in getting better. I started therapy around the beginning of April. She's nice. But I don't know if she is helping. My ultimate goal weight was 100lbs. I still wasn't happy. But that was a turning point for me when I told myself that I was going to get better. Turns out my eating disorder doesn't want that. I'm currently 96.8lbs as I'm writing this. I'm still disgusting in my eyes. My thighs are still fat and my stomach isn't flat enough. But I know that this is my eating disorder talking. Alright, that's long enough.
If you want to contact me my email is holdensmommy89@gmail.com
Hi
ReplyDeleteThe condition is coming from nowhere and its just amazing how fast this all is consuming you. It is like with me I feel like I'm living in some other weird world of my mind. I'm very happy for you that you are having a therapy, it is what I am waiting for as well. Here in UK, GP's are useless they are low qualified and actually don't rally care to find out what is really wrong with you (that's why I'm assuming low qualification). Any troubles or need to talk about anything, get back to me. XOXO