Well this marks my 100th post. And I have 72 lovely followers who have been nothing but supportive for all of my weight loss and now for my weight gain. I am so very thankful for every single one of you. You have made me smile on my bad days. But I am sad to announce that this will be my final post. Last night T and I got into a huge argument/discussion and it became clear to me. If I need to get better, than I must eliminate all of the things in my life that are revolved around my eating disorder. I have deleted MyFitnessPal, I deleted all of my "progress" pictures on my phone, and now to go about my life. This blog has been my biggest source of inspiration for when I was losing weight, and one of my biggest support systems in getting better. I have loved forming a friendship with most of you that read this. And this isn't an ending to a friendship, but rather a beginning to my life without my eating disorder. I have a very long and rough road ahead, but I am bound and determined to do it. I have my boys who need me as their mother, and I can't very well be their mother if I'm dead because of this disease. I have my boyfriend who loves me with every fiber of his being despite the hell I've put him through, and I need to show to him that he is worth fighting for. That my life is worth fighting for. My eating disorder has been a part of my life for almost 12 years, but within this past year, it has become my life. And I can't do it anymore. I can't fight the constant battle of living with this thing. I have to walk away from this chapter in my life and start anew. I hope to one day be able to help girls like me/us that struggle with self body image and keep them from traveling this same dangerous path. I am 96lbs. I am on the verge of death with this thing. My body has slowly been shutting down on me for a couple weeks now and I can't let it win. I can't let this disease take away my one and only life. Because that's all I have. One life, and I want to live it to the fullest. I am almost 23 years old. I have so much I want to do with my life. And being sick through it all or not even being alive would defeat the purpose of wanting to live it. Thank you all for reading my blogs everyday, commenting on it, making me smile, and being so very supportive. I wish all of you the best in your journeys whether it be to make it to your goal weight, or one day, recovery. Because remember ladies, we all know that our hearts are beautiful, which in turn makes us beautiful. Much love.
XOXO Katie
Katie my dear, this is bitter sweet for me.
ReplyDeleteI will miss you so very much but I totally understand why you need to this. You need to recover and live your life not just for yourself but for your boys too. You are a beautiful person and a tough cookie and I just know you will get to where you want to be. You have been an inspiration to me, you never give up fighting this thing.
I wish you all the health and happiness that you deserve and it has been a pleasure knowing you.
As always much love to you sweetie xxx
Im gonna miss you... but i understand <3
ReplyDeleteemail me if you wanna talk, my email is on my blog page beautiful.
Good luck honey, you are one of the strongest women I know, and if nothing else, you can do it for your children, because you are a terrific mother <3
Lots of love <3 Stay strong my lovely
xx
Breathe ~
Oh katie, I am so sad to lose you, but I understand completely why you need to do this. I honestly hope that this is the beginning of the healing process for you. You are right, and very brave eliminating the triggers from your life, and I am so overwhelmed that you are so determined in not letting this disease take your life away from you. You need to fight this, so you can be there for your boys, and I am so glad that you have T in this, he seems like a Gem and I am so happy that you are doing all of this even if it means not reading your lovely blog anymore.
ReplyDeleteI know in my heart that you are a wonderful and beautiful person inside and out, you have so much to live for and so much waiting for you. I believe in you 100% and I know that you have what it takes to get through this and emerge even stronger, more beautiful and more wonderful than you already are.
Remember that I am here for you if you ever need to reach out to me dont hesitate to do so, I wish you all the best on this journey.
Much love <3 You will be in my thoughts and prayers x
I am so devistated about you not posting anymore. Even though i haven't been following you long you have been a real inspiration. I will miss reading your posts. We all know this is better for you. I wish you luck and i really hope you recover and live a wonderful life
ReplyDeletexx
I will truely miss reading your blog everyday. But you have to do what is better for you and its a wonderful thing. You are such a beautiful and great person that deserves to be happy. I wish you all the best on your journey. Thank you to all the support you have given me, it really means alot. Much love and stay strong, enjoy your life hun<3
ReplyDeleteLike everybody else is saying, it is so sad to see you go but I'm so happy about your positivity and your whole outlook on everything. This whole thing hasn't been easy, but I know that you have it in you to do and succeed in everything you're trying to accomplish :) Stay strong, stay beautiful, and thank you for being there for me and also giving me a huge source of inspiration :)
ReplyDeleteI wish you all the best in the way to recovery, I will keep my fingers crossed for you to get better. I know you will, on the other hand I was stunned when I read that this is your last post. But you have to do what is best for you and the once you love the most. Love and hugs XOXO
ReplyDeleteI'm going to miss you so much! But you have to do what is right and healthy for you <3 We will always be here for you no matter what, and you are so so strong trying to beat this! You will succeed! You have T and your boys :) You are an amazing person, never forget that xxx
ReplyDeleteI understand Katie. I am going to miss you soooo much. I wish you and your family the best of luck. Will you ever come back to let us know how you are doing?
ReplyDeleteYou are making a big choice and the right choice and I know it can be hard sometimes. I miss you already :-( *hugs*
Take care lovely.
I wish you the best in your life sweetheart. I hope you find the
ReplyDeletehappiness that you deserve. Good luck and take care of yourself.
Alice xx
I'm gonna miss you so bad, but that's ok. I know you'll win this - god I pray you do, you got two beautiful boys and I'd hate to see them grow up without a mother. This is a right decision and I really wow and respect it. You're amazing person and mother, and really determined person. You know few people actually ever get as low as you did, you surely have the determination to get out of here. You of all the people can definitely do it.
ReplyDeleteI hope best for you and your boys and T, who's so awesome sounding husband that it seems almost unreal. He deserves a real life wife, and your boys a mother and most of all you deserve better life with them, being happy and well. I wish you the best luck and strength to you journey. Be brave and shall nothing stop you from getting your goal and wellness in this life.
Love you, much!
<3
I wish you ver big amount of strengt and finding your own way to happiness. You can just live normal happy life as everybody else but it needs time. As others want loss to be satisfied you need to like your curves that you'll have after finding pleasure in some tasty procucts. Everybody deserves happiness ;*
ReplyDeleteKatie I will miss you terribly! But I know that you have to do what is right for you. I hope you get better soon for your boyfriend and sons! Always remember that even though you are not blogging anymore, we are all still here for you in every way. If you want, you can message me at: xfeather_flyx@yahoo.com
ReplyDeleteI wish you the best!
Lots of love and support,
<3 A Fragile Heart
I'm gonna miss you so much... But I hope you do make it back to health. I know you really want it.
ReplyDeleteSeriously, I feel like crying now. I'm sorry it's all so triggering. I'm so sorry.
I wish you all the luck in life. You're such a strong person.
Xoxo-- I love you tons :')
I'm so proud of you for making this decision even though you will be greatly missed. You are doing what is best for your recovery and if letting go of your blog is part of that and good for you. You are strong and will get through this terrible chapter in your life. I hope we can continue to chat now and then and I wish you the best in your recovery. Love you girl!
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure how I missed this post but I hope you get this comment. I knew you would choose to recover some day, for yourself, for T, for your children. You are strong and can beat this. I'm going to miss you but I wish you all the luck in world because you can do it xxx
ReplyDeleteGood Luck Katie!! <3! I for one hope not to see you here again, because it will mean you are LIVING! xoxoxoxo
ReplyDelete