113 and so sick

Last night when I went to bed, I was perfectly fine. Felt great. Then I wake up this morning and feel like a freaking train hit me. My throat and chest burn. I haven't been able to stop coughing. So when I woke up, I decided to take a shower to maybe make me feel better. Got on the scale and much to my surprise, it said 113. I feel like I've been eating like a freaking pig lately. Granted, I have purged any and everything that I eat. But still. On Tuesday morning, I made cinnamon rolls for breakfast. I will NEVER eat those again. I wasn't able to purge it, even after 1 1/2 glasses of water. I was so frustrated. Nothing puts me in a bad mood like not being able to purge my food. And then yesterday, we stopped at McDonald's while we were out driving around and I got a milkshake and a mcdouble. OMG! It was so good going down, but when we stopped at the gas station so I could purge it, it was horrible. Never again lol. So then today, I went out to Village Inn with my mom for Lunch, and of course I purged that, and my mom gave me a pretty nasty look when I came out of the bathroom. She knows what's going on, and she won't say anything to my face. She is more of a passive aggressive person who won't actually say anything to you, more or less gives you the cold shoulder. Oh well, I can't satisfy everyone, can I? I wish it was that easy. I have come to realize that when my honey and I first got together, I was almost 140. I have lost almost 30lbs since we got together. The problem is, I don't freakin see it. My tummy is still fat, my legs are still fat, I still have my fat face. The only difference I have seen is in my boobs, the one place I DIDN'T want to lose weight. Go figure, right?  So now dinner is in the oven, and I most likely won't eat because I feel like crap. But I made BBQ Garlic Chicken, herb and butter noodles and corn. It will get eaten for sure by everyone else. Alright, so that's my rant for the day. Sigh.