I am having my first fat day in a long while. I feel huge no matter what I put on. I have changed my outfit at least twice and I am still not satisfied. I just ate a few chips and debating on if I should just purge those before I decide to eat lunch. I'm making ramen noodles; again. They are so easy, and yummy. I'm making pork chops for dinner tonight, but not entirely sure if I want to eat them. But I got the whole family to feed tonight (3 kids and two adults.) I also plan on baking this afternoon. A week and a half ago I made a batch of cookies that ended up making close to 130 cookies. They all got ate pretty quick, so today while at the store, I picked up the rest of the stuff to make them. They are pretty delicious. I hate that I love to cook. Cooking as much as I do and having an eating disorder isn't a good match. It's sometimes hard not to eat all the delicious goodies I make. But in the end, it's better for me to just avoid it all together. I have my OB appointment on Wednesday and I'm pretty nervous. I guess I'm freaking out over nothing, but in the back of my mind I keep thinking, what if this thing is cancerous? What if I have to lose one of my ovaries? I'm probably just overreacting and it's just gonna need surgery to have the cyst removed. I didn't weigh in this morning because of last night. I didn't eat anything all day until dinner last night when I made lasagna which was around 6:30 when we ate. I did purge that, although it was difficult. But then later when we were watching Supernatural, my honey pulled out the chips and salsa. I freaking cowed down on those. I purged them twice though. But I've felt huge since, so I decided that not getting on the scale was probably best for everyone involved today. I have so much I have to do today, and I'm procrastinating. Today would be my brother's 34th birthday, so I went to the dollar store this morning and bought some birthday balloons and I plan on letting them go later this afternoon. I have to also go to my doctors office and pick up papers and take books back to the library. I have also been getting more involved with the blogging idea and have decided to follow a few other blogs. I'm enjoying it. Getting to know other girls who are kinda like me. Well I should probably get on with the rest of my day. Talk to you all later.
XOXO Katie
I hate fat days. Trying on several outfits and feeling fat in every single one of them is the most frustrating thing. I also love cooking and baking. My roommate and I will typically bake at least one thing every week and it's so difficult to stop myself from eating the result. I love how strong I feel when I do manage to resist eating them though.
ReplyDeleteAlso, thanks so much for your comment. I didn't expect anyone to be so understanding about it. When I told a friend of mine last year about my virginity, she looked at me like I was a total freak. It's nice to know that I have support here.
<3 Dainty