4 mile walk and still stuck?

WTF? I have been 112.4 for 4 days now. And yesterday we went for a 4 mile walk. I didn't eat a whole lot yesterday and what I did, I purged. Last night my honey and I got into a discussion. He told me that I need to stop riding myself so hard. He told me that I am the only one who sees that I am fat. He's so convinced that every guy looks at me and stares at me. I mean, once in awhile I will catch the occasional creeper like really staring me down, but they are just creepy. If I had the chance, there are so many things that I would not only change about my physical appearance, but myself as a person. Last night, I felt like the worst mom in history. My oldest got in trouble for hitting another little boy in the head with a baseball bat. I made him sit in timeout for 2 hours. I know, a bit extreme. But then I yelled at him because he couldn't give me a reason on why he did it. Which in turn made him cry. I felt so bad. So not only am I always on my own ass about my weight and what I eat and whether or not I work out, I am not constantly riding my ass about my mothering. My honey says that since I am the only one who deals with him constantly and he pushes every single button he knows how, that sometimes I have the right to get upset with him. He deliberately says things to hurt me, does things he knows is not ok, and doesn't show any remorse for when he hurts others. But even if it takes every last bit of sanity out of me, I am going to be a better mom. I will make him a better kid. And give my youngest a better chance at being a great kid. The boys just woke up, so I am going to make them some waffles, and take them for a walk again today to the park. Today is going to be a better day. And I am bound and determined to not be 112.4 tomorrow morning when I get on the scale.