Sunday, April 8, 2012

I am so depressed today

When I woke up this morning, I promised myself I was going to restrict until dinner. That was until my mom showed up with Krispy Kreme donuts. She was just trying to be sweet. So I ate just one. Then I went to purge it, it didn't come back up. I was so frustrated. So ever since then, I have been in a pissy mood. I have changed my outfit three times because no matter what I put on, it doesn't feel right. I feel huge and disgusting. I haven't ate anything else since and that was at 9:30am this morning. Easter dinner is in the oven and I honestly don't want it. I will be content just watching everyone else enjoy my amazing cooking. I did do a set of 100 crunches and sit ups and then a set of 50 leg lifts. I can't wait until my stomach is flat and doesn't feel like this. I have had to redo my makeup once already because I keep crying. My mom know feels bad because she thinks it's all her fault. Of course it's not her fault. It's mine for eating the damn thing. Or mine for having this mind set that no matter what I eat, I might as well just duct tape it to my thighs and my ass, because we all know that's where it's going. I have been taking my weight loss pills and they are not helping. I have 104.4 for the last 3 mornings. That is so frustrating. Hopefully tomorrow I can get back on track with the weight loss since kids will be in school and I will be cleaning all day again. I feel like I haven't done shit for exercise. I want to go on a 5 mile walk today but by the time dinner is done and everyone is gone, it will be too late. So I will tackle that tomorrow then. I'm really considering changing again. I'm wearing a dress right now and everything on my body feels loose and jiggly. Oh well. I will get over this by tonight I hope. As long as I don't pig out during dinner. I hope I can resist the ham that smells absolutely amazing, the cupcakes and the s'mores pie I made, the green bean casserole, or the cheesy ranch potato bake. That would be amazing. I hope everyone else is having a blessed Easter. Much love.
This is what I feel like doing
XOXO Katie
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3 comments:

  1. AnonymousApril 8, 2012 at 5:42 PM

    I was so touched by your comment about your brother on my last post! I am so sorry and can't even imagine what it must have felt like to deal with such a loss. I promise you that I will never take a day with my brother for granted again. I also binged a lot this holiday. But remember that it's Easter, so it isn't like you did something horrendous. Be proud of your weight! I wish I was that tiny.^_^ Stay strong and we will reach our goals!
    All My Support,
    <3 A Fragile Heart

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  2. AnonymousApril 8, 2012 at 5:52 PM

    I'm sorry to hear you've had a bad day. I'm sure most of us have slipped up today; it's so hard not to with all the junk food around. Don't you hate days when you feel awful in everything you try on? So frustrating. I hope the rest of your day has gotten better.

    <3 Laura

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  3. AnonymousApril 8, 2012 at 9:18 PM

    hang in there, i haven't been noticing huge changes either

    i followed, support
    http://mylittlebones.blogspot.com/

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