Why am I not changing?!?!?

I have been stuck at 104.4 since last Friday. I don't understand. I have been taking my pills, exercising, restricting, and purging when I do eat. I don't binge, I barely eat as it is. I hope tomorrow when I weigh in, I will go down. I have been restricting all day. The ONLY calories I had was 50cal in cream and sugar in my coffee this morning, that I didn't even finish. I burned 422 calories working out, so my intake is -372cal and honestly, hungry feels fantastic. I met with the therapist again today. I'm not going to call her my therapist until I feel ready. I told her that today was my first not fat day in a long time. She asked why and I told her because of my intake. That my stomach has been screaming at me since 11am and I haven't ate anything. I have been drinking water to stay hydrated. I dropped my youngest off with his dad while I was at my appointment, and when I went and picked him up afterwards, my ex pushed me over the edge. He kept making fun of me. Telling me that my bones were sticking out, that I was too fragile to walk, that I'm just going to fall on the floor in a dust pile, all the while, laughing and poking at my shoulder blades. I told him, "You know that I have a fucking problem, right?" To which he replied, "Yep, but guess what, it's not my problem anymore, so it doesn't bother me." Ugh, I wanted to punch him in the face so badly. It totally ruined my great mood. So the therapist says to me, "You have two voices in your head. Do you recognize that your eating disorder is a completely different person? And you need to distinguish between yourself and your eating disorder." I try telling people this all of the time. That I am constantly battling with myself, all day, every day. She told me she wants me to try to keep something down, just once, without purging before I see her next week. She suggested stuff that has no or negative calories. I guess I will try it. She also wants me to use positive wording instead of negative. I still am not sure on how to do this. But I will tell her that I did. So on a final note, it's 5pm, I haven't ate. I have only consumed water. And it feels wonderful. Tomorrow I will see a change for sure. Much love.

XOXO Katie