Perfect thighs
Yesterday I didn't feel too well. I ate what I could. I spent most of the day in the restroom. I drank a huge amount of coffee, water and Gatorade. I was so sure I was going to be above 100lbs when I woke up this morning. I didn't get to work out at all yesterday. I was pretty upset about that. I have this overwhelming urge to exercise everyday. Best believe I will today after my youngest takes a nap. So before I announce what the numbers read on the scale this morning, I wanna talk about the book I was reading. In case some of you missed it, it's called "Purged; Rehab diaries." Alright, amazing book. Hands down one of the best books I have read about ED's. It talks about her personal experience in an ED clinic. She included her actual journal entries, her documents from her therapists and the meal plans she was provided with while there. She talks about how there is no cure to an eating disorder, and one will always have that urge long after you have "recovered." She said 50 percent of bulimics relapse within 6 months of treatment, and the percentage for anorexics is even higher. She was diagnosed with EDNOS. The more and more I think about it, maybe that is me. I have tendencies of both. Anyway, I do recommend it. Not very triggering at all in my opinion. I finished it in about 6 hours. This medication is still making me sleepy. I just want to take a nap. It's 2pm and I still haven't ate. My stomach is still a bit upset. I ate chicken noodle soup for dinner last night. Pretty late too. So that's why I was so sure I was going to gain. So after laying in bed just talking with T for an hour this morning before he had to go to work, I went to go do my morning ritual. Started the shower, stripped down and stepped on. I told T not to look, but he peaked anyway. I had to step on the damn thing 4 times to make sure it was right. T was not upset at all seeing as I am eating and I wasn't feeling well yesterday. So it read 95.2lbs! That is the lowest I have ever been. So all kinds of emotions came from this number. I was shocked seeing as I have been eating like a fat cow these last few days to put weight on. I was scared because I thought T would be upset, but he wasn't. And then I was happy. Happy to see that if I want to, I can lose the weight again easily if I believe I'm getting too fat too soon. I will eat a normal dinner tonight. And I'm OK with that. But I do plan on exercising today as well. Another weird thing has happened. I have heard about it happening before, but never thought it would to me. This might be a little TMI, but my monthly visitor is very, very late. I took a test a couple days ago at the doctor. It came back negative. I have lost it due to lack of body fat. This scares me a bit seeing as T wants to have another child sometime in the future. But maybe as I get fatter again, it will come back. Who knows. Alright, I'm off to finish cleaning. Much love.
XOXO Katie
Perfect thighs
Oh hun I would so love to be 95.2lbs, I wish I had your strength and resolve, I hope that things work out x hugs xx
ReplyDeleteHey hun,
ReplyDeleteI read that book recently, also in a very short time. It's a great book. Some parts did trigger me, because of the graphic purging descriptions, I did start purging again :s
So weird, my partner made me chicken noodle soup last night! At like 9:30 after I'd eaten nothing all day and I had lost (a little) by the next day too! Lol.
I have lost my period due to anorexia, my lowest weight was 69 lbs =/ I think I lost it for like 2, almost 3 years. I was so out of it then, it's hard to remember.. I was actually overweight by the time it came back!
Glad you're having a good day
<3
Oh, what book are you gonna read next? If any.. I think I'm gonna try to read Skinny, by Ibi Kaslik. I tried to read it before now, but I was so ADD I couldn't concentrate.. Seemed like it would be a good read though. Just got done with Wintergirls, by Laurie Halse Anderson, too. Novel, not a memoir, very good though x
ReplyDeleteYour weight is amazing(: and I hope things go well! If you don't eat for a while and then eat lightly I've found out it actually helps you lose!
ReplyDeleteKeep going hun <3 XO
Honey, I've just seen your gw, and it makes me a little worried for you.. because you've gone quite far beyond it.. and 200, 5 lbs isn't so much, but at 100, it is.. being almost 5 lbs under your goal weight and being happy, scares me :( I hope you stay healthy, for yourself, your children and your partner and that future baby... Losing your periods may sound great, but in reality, it's kinda scary, right? I don't even know if I can have kids =/ I just hope that I can...
ReplyDeletemuch love <3
Hey there. Sorry to hear you are not feeling well. I wonder if it because of how much you ate yesterday? I know your body is still readjusting.
ReplyDeleteYeah hopefully tom will come back when your weight goes up( slowly up )
You are doing good. Keep up the hard work.
That book does sound amazing. I love reading books I can learn from. I like that she included real entries from her journal and meal plans along with the doctor's note. It must have been a real eye opener to see it from all sides.
Hey... I've been struggling alot... O I wish I could eat and lose it would be a dream to be even 100lbs...neway I have the "purge" book... I also have alot of other ED books if u want to know some more good reads... I have a book called "Thin" its really good has a few different stried about girls in a ED rehab...and their stories and diarie journals as well as pics..its one of my fav books.
ReplyDelete"She said 50 percent of bulimics relapse within 6 months of treatment, and the percentage for anorexics is even higher."
ReplyDeleteNo fucking joke. lol
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95 pounds sounds so amazing. You are such an inspiration. Oh, and I'm a new follower. :)
Oh wow! Considering you are trying to recover, I won't say congrats, even though I'm jealous...
ReplyDeleteAnd don't worry, I'm pretty sure it does come back if you put the weight back on. It's a scary thought for me - being a teenager and all that's always wanted kids of my own when I'm older...
And that sounds like a great book - I was sort of worried from your last post when you said you were reading it. I thought it might be triggering.
Well, good luck, and I hope you can get to a healthy weight xx .... but you should know? Even if you sleep all day, most people tend to burn somewhere between 1000 and 2000 cals a day, without doing anything. This ultimately makes any intake lowere than that redundant.... I'm worried about telling you this though, about what it might do. Look into your RMR (resting metabolic rate) for more info...
Stay strong, you're doing great hun!
95 lbs is tiny. I can't even fathom how small you must be. I've looked at that book on Amazon a few times; it's interesting to read what you thought of it. <3 xx
ReplyDeleteHey hun, me again! I added you to MFP, you have to go to friends and requests to accept me =D I didn't realise that I had WAAMH (weareallmadhere) in there, for a few days! Lol Hope things are good x
ReplyDelete