Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Migraine and 2oz loss

Yesterday went alright with my youngest's testing. He didn't sleep like he was supposed to, but she said that he was calm and mellow enough that they should be able to get a decent reading. He only slept for a total of 20 minutes all day yesterday. I was so exhausted by the time we got home. I have had a migraine for 3 days now. When I was 16, I was diagnosed with Chronic Migraines. The only thing they ever give me for it is Vicoden and I don't like Vicoden because it makes me sick to my stomach. It hurts to just keep my eyes open. Being outside killed my head yesterday. I did my coffee fast yesterday. Had 4 cups of coffee throughout the day, along with tons of water. But then I ate a little dinner last night. I had a half a cup of coup (35cal) and a salad (15cal.) I was still hungry afterwards, but resisted binging like I wanted to. I was way in the negatives yesterday with all the cleaning and running around I did. T and I watched Girl Interrupted last night. I forgot how much I love that movie. So it's past 9am and I haven't had coffee or any food. I'm thinking about making some egg whites because I know that I need to eat seeing as I am shaky and exhausted. I don't know if eating gives me energy like it does with other people, because honestly, I am always tired, whether I eat or not. Here in a few hours I am going to take my youngest to his dads, then thinking of taking my oldest to the water park again. He loves it there and it's free. Although I might go to Walmart beforehand and buy some tanning lotion. I need to get tan again. It makes me feel skinnier and better about myself when I'm not so pale. So last night T put a picture that he took of me when we first got together as his wallpaper on his phone. I was about 40lbs heavier then. He told me he loved me like that because I put the weight on in the appropriate places. He says I was well proportioned. And in all honestly, I was more happy back then. I always smiled. Now a days, I'm always down on myself, never smiling and always talking down on myself. I told him and my doctor that the most I want to weigh is 115. That's almost 20lbs for me. My doctor wants me to be around 135. Ugh. I don't want to be that again. I hated myself then. I'm making spaghetti for dinner tonight. I don't plan on having a whole lot, but I do plan on eating normally today. Some days my ed wins, other days I am louder than it. Today I plan on beating it and not listening to it. We will see how that plays out. Hope everyone is having a wonderful day. Much love.
XOXO Katie
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13 comments:

  1. AnonymousMay 30, 2012 at 8:35 AM

    Well I'm glad the testing went well and I'm glad that you're determined to eat normally and all. I'm sorry about the migraines though :( I can't imagine having a 3 day headache...
    I hope things turn up for you sweetie <3
    -Emma

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  2. RayyaMay 30, 2012 at 9:22 AM

    Hello :) I am glad everything went well, and I am very glad that you are winning over the ED today, I hope one day I can be where you are and want to win. Poor you with the migraines! :( It must make everything else ten million times more difficult! You are always so busy, you put me to shame. I hope you have a lovely day :) Much love hun xxx

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  3. WinterAMay 30, 2012 at 12:15 PM

    Man you are just going threw a lot. I feel bad that the little one only slept 20 minutes yesterday. I get cranky on little sleep. My sister gets lot's of migraines. They last for days at a time. I told her to get her head look at to make sure it is nothing serious.

    I hope everything goes okay with dinner tonight. I made spaghetti the other night! For me I did okay with one serving but my mind wanted more. It's like it got a high off the taste. Smh anyways I am sure you will be okay :-)

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  4. UnknownMay 30, 2012 at 1:08 PM

    I'm sorry about your migraine :/ Those really suck.
    But it's good things have been going well(: I'm actually looking at ways to low-risk bleach myself (lemon juice, mostly!) because I want to be lighter-- even though I'm irish and pretty white anyways.
    I hope things can continue and, even if you do gain weight, everyone here will still look forward to reading your blogs ^.^
    XO

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  5. AnonymousMay 30, 2012 at 1:10 PM

    I've heard of a migraine med called immotrex I think it is? Even if it's not that when my hubby gets migraines there is a med that he can get from the doctor that if he takes it soon enough it gets rid of it. I've also heard of a shot. Those sound awful, but I've never had one myself. Glad you are at least open to the idea of gaining some.

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  6. Me DestruitMay 30, 2012 at 1:28 PM

    Hey hun, your scale must be kind of awesome to notice ounces!

    I'm glad all the testing went well too, sorry you've been feeling so bad.. hopefully you win with the ED today and you feel better physically for it and then hopefully that allows you to feel mentally better too =)

    Love x

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  7. Depressed Skinny Mess.May 30, 2012 at 1:43 PM

    Glad you feel stronger today, you can beat this! I suffer with chronic migraines too, they're horrible things. Keep up the positive thoughts! xx

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  8. Fat PiggyMay 30, 2012 at 2:13 PM

    Glad everything went well. I'm sure today you can kick it's ass. I know you can. :) I also suffer from migraines, I usually just KO for a little while, the only thing that helps. Sending you strength and love for today! Xo

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  9. Ruby TuesdayMay 30, 2012 at 3:20 PM

    hey Katie,

    You must be relieved your little one is ok.
    I think 115lbs sounds like a perfectly healthy weight, if I was in recovery I would be alright with that weight,

    lots of love to you xxx

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  10. LouiseMay 30, 2012 at 6:40 PM

    Migraines are the worst :( But I'm really glad to hear you sound so positive :) Keep up the good work and if you want to don't hesitate to text me :)

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  11. AliceMay 30, 2012 at 7:43 PM

    Sounds like everything went well today I hope! But I'm the same height as you and have been around 135 and HATED it. My goal has been 115 atleast, whatever I'm happy at and whatever your happy at should be your goal:)And get some tanning lotion I just did because I was at the gym and was disgusted of how horribly white I was and has def made me feel better about myself now. ANYWAYS stay strong hun! <3

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  12. luMay 31, 2012 at 5:22 AM

    with all that you are going through it's no wonder you have migraines, you poor girl! sleep is key to getting rid of the migraines. start small with your goals in gaining. thinking about 135 is a huge jump...one day at a time! my husband tells me often how much he liked the way i looked when i weighted more. he found me sexy, i simply call it fat! haha...i feel the same way about a tan, it somehow transforms you into looking better and healthier. i started using avon skin so soft tanning gel. just on my legs first to see how it works. i don't want to look like an oompaloompa from the wizard of oz!
    feel better soon.

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  13. CarolineMay 31, 2012 at 10:13 AM

    I love that movie and coffee too! It doesn't matter how would you look unless you're happy with yourself and your life.

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