That's how I feel. I finally gave in and had a bowl of Ramen Noodles after not eating all day yesterday or this morning. Now I feel gross. Even though I purged them three freaking times, I don't feel like it's all gone. So now I feel extremely bloated. I have a doctors appointment in an hour and a half. My mouth has all these blisters in it and it freaking hurts. I just took my second round of weight loss pills, so I can't go and try and purge again. I just feel kinda miserable. I can't tell if I'm sick or if it's just these blisters that is causing my throat to hurt so bad. I just want a pajama day where I can just curl up with a book on the couch and watch TV all day. I know my doctor is going to ask how I'm feeling on the medication. To be honest, I'm not feeling any better. Actually, I feel a little more depressed than before. Of course T or anyone else won't notice because I have been doing well at being happy around everyone. I have been putting a smile on my face, laughing at jokes, and being, well, normal. I got sick of dragging everyone down with me. This is my hell. This is my battle. I need to fight the devil inside me by myself so no one else gets hurt. It hasn't gotten brought up that much between T and I which is a good thing. I don't know what I'm making for dinner tonight. My oldest is at his fathers, so I really only have to make something for T and I. Well maybe just him. I would be content with not eating anything else for the rest of the day. I feel so nasty. Thanks for the compliments on my progress pictures I posted earlier. I was so nervous putting them up. But I figured it can't hurt anyone (except my ego, lol.) I'm hoping on my way up to my doctors appointment, T will take me to Starbucks so I can get a chai tea latte. Those are my absolute favorites and only 170cal. I usually try not to count drink calories seeing as it just goes right through me. After my doctors appointment, I plan on coming home and taking a nap. That is if my youngest will go down for one. I hope everyone is having a wonderful Tuesday. Much love.
XOXO Katie
Oh sweetie... I hate when I eat noodles... I'm so sorry you feel so yucky :/ Please just get some tea and try to relax. I hope this week gets better for you, love <3
ReplyDelete-Emma
I just looked at the progress pics. You're lost so much! You look great love :) and I know that feeling about the anti depressants. They really do take about a month to kick it. I stopped taking mine actually (I know how cliche this sounds...but I felt less creative when I took them).
ReplyDeleteWish you better time and better mood, don't worry ;)
ReplyDeleteI hope the appointment went well and there is nothing the doctor complained about.
ReplyDeleteAnd please do not push yourself too much it could end up real badly.
Afterall I hope you enjoyed your chai latte.